Leighton town for an Aylesbury match

Since I saw the fixture list I was looking forward to this game...Aylesbury United v Berkhamsted in the Spartan South Midlands league....both teams one above the other in the league, so it promised to be a closely contested game.

And it was a ground that I had never been to before.

Aylesbury at the moment are homeless...they play at Leighton Town FC in Leighton Buzzard in Bedfordshire.

Don't ask me why the town has the name "Buzzard" as there are no buzzards in Bedfordshire...as far as I am aware, but there must be some reason behind the name.

Anyway...I took the train to the town....you can catch a train to Leighton Buzzard from Euston.

When you get out of the train station turn left and head down New Road....I didn't manage to see the sign for New Road, I saw Old Road instead and I took a chance by going down there instead...as it seemed to be heading towards the actual town I assumed that it would get me there....it did!

While heading towards the town I noticed a little bridge going above the Grand Union canal....this I assumed to be Leighton Road, I had to assume that though as there was no street sign to confirm it for me, luckily I was right....I did see a house with the name Leighton Road a little later down the road so I knew I was at least heading in the right direction.

From the bridge you can easily tell where the High Street is...just as well as I needed to go through the High Street to reach the ground.

At the top of the High Street there is a fork in the road where the old fire station building is (I know that because it said "Fire station" on it), when you see that building, head for the right fork and walk down that road...that is called Lake Street...you won't know that though because you won't see any signs to confirm it...just take my word for it!

Walk down there a little way and you will go past a pub called "the Sun", just past there on your right is Leighton Town Football Club.

After around a 20 minute walk from the station (where you are expected to bring your own crystal ball for knowing what road is what) you reach the ground....seemed very quiet...too quiet in fact...as I got closer I saw the dreaded sing on the fence...."Match postponed"

Well the gate was open so I walked in...there were three locals there who looked at me as if I was a looney.

"Game's off", one of them stated

"I know", I replied

They obviously knew I wasn't a local as, after all...why would a local turn up at 2.20 for a game that I found out from the locals had been postponed at 10am?

"Where you come from?", they enquired

"Watford"

"Ah!!"

What the hell is a knowing"Ah" supposed to mean? That I was from Watford?

Is that a forgiveable reason for turning up for a match that was postponed a couple of hours before I had even left home?

And yes... I know it was stupid of me not to check the website, especially for a game in early January.

So I took a couple of photos of the ground...well I might as well, after all I had gone there with the intention of watching a match hadn't I?

By the time I had done what I wanted at the ground and reached the HIgh Street again I looked at the old fire station and saw that they had a clock...it said it was 2.50...no chance of making another game anywhere else so I thought I would take in some sights of the sleepy little market town...it didn't take long.

Though I must admit it looked pretty much like St Albans as a town.

There was a burger bar in the High Street so I thought I'd investigate.

I choose a cheese burger and a cup of tea....unusual for me to have a tea but it was bloody cold.

Then the burger man asked me if I would like additions to my burger, all for free....so I chose some chopped tomatoes, mushrooms and onions as he piled all these items on my burger....I was so impressed I was going to take a photo of the burger...but there were other people around and they would have thought me a bit weird doing that no doubt...then again if I had explained to them that I was from Watford maybe they would have all looked at me and nodded and said all knowingly, "Ah!!"

And the cost of the massive burger and a lovely cuppa...£3.50...I was most impressed!!

I sat at a table in the middle of the cold high Street and calmly took in my surroundings....nice little town....but please...put up more street signs for strangers to know their away around!

You may see me on TV!!

I may be on TV!!
I went to the bank in the town after work to get money out after work on Tuesday, I'd had a tough stressful day and just wanted to get the money out and get home.
A pretty looking young blonde girl was outside the building looking all forlorn with a microphone and asked if I could help her as she needed to have an interview with someone or else she wouldn't get the job on her radio station.
I thought "Hello..."
But after a bit of cajoling I said I'd do it anyway, especially when she was giving me the big sad puppy dog eyes....I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.
It was then that she told me that she had to interview a Japanese karate champion who hadn't turned up and would I be nice enough to pretend to be the karate champion...  and that I'd have to talk in gibberish Japanese!!!
which after a bit of persuasion and a bit of practice I did.
Naturally I started off by saying, "Harrow"...as you do when you try to do a phoney Japanese/ Chinese accent...
She then told me that I would have to smash a brick with my head...my eyes must have registered some kind of panic but then I was given a mallet to smash it with.
Once all that was done I quickly said my goodbye's and scarpered off to get my money out!!!
When I came out another woman came up to me and said that it was all for a hidden camera show, and that I would have to sign a form to say I agreed for it to be aired on the TV.
I doubt it'll go on TV though (Sky One I think), I'm hardly photogenic!!!

A simple test

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?




The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.


This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.








2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?




Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer




Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.








3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All of the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.




This tests your memory.






Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.






4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?


Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.






Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.

Bognor Regis Town FC

I mentioned in an earlier blog that I went to Chatham to see Bognor win their league...unfortunetly that wasn't to be...but I have been to see Bognor play a few times at their home ground of Nyeland Lane
while I've been down in Bognor on holiday.
The first time was when Bognor were suffering a bad season in the South Conference league, unfortunetly they went down that season, and the season after that as well but I was hooked and now I go to see them whenever I'm down there...only if they're at home though of course!!
I do tend to try and and work my holiday round their fixture list though when I can!!
Bognor now play in the Ryman League Division One South, where they had a fantastic season last season, they were around the top of the league all season, finally hitting the top spot with a game to go, but were pipped to the post and then failed to qualify for promotion in the play offs....this season they seemed to have learnt their lesson from last season and are stronger, they are currently top of the league and hopefully won't blow it this season.

If you are trying to get there by train though beware that it is a loooong way from the station. the best way of getting there is to (in my humble opinion) head for the beach....when you get there turn right and go towards the Royal Norfolk Hotel...follow that road until you reach Nyeland lane and walk up there....again though, it's still a fair old trek until you reach the ground on the left hand side.
A more scenice route would be to just walk along the beach until you reach the sign that says "Pagham"....that road should then be Nyeland Lane and you just walk up the road from there!!
I don't think that many clubs in the Ryman Division one has a mascot, and though he doesn't always seem to be there if they have a mascot for a game then he'll come out of hibernation...I'm talking of Rocky Bear.

I would talk about the game that I went to, but as I have been to a few it's a bit difficult, but I will say...every time I have been to a Bognor game they have never lost!!
Maybe I should be their mascot?!!

Highlights of the Sittingbourne game at Nyeland Lane in the FA Cup First Qualifying round of the 2011/12 season....yes...I was the one who took the video!!

Christmas Shoplifting

One of my common law brother in law’s was a bit of a dodgy geezer…come to think of it, they were both dodgy in their own ways.

But Gary was the king of dodgy.

Gary had a car that he loved…did he love it more than my own sister? Probably.

It was a Simca 1100….

A what? I hear you say?

A dodgy French make (apparently)…..but in its defence it was superbly brilliant, the rust held it together where welding just could not compete. It took everything in its stride and just kept on going like a Duracell bunny…not bad for £70!!

Anyhoo…he wanted to do some Christmas shopping, and he needed my help.

So off we went in his beloved Simca…oh what the hell…I loved that car too.

So we went to a town where we weren’t known by anyone to do the shopping…..I pondered this for a while…I soon found out why.

While on the way there I was watching the road pass underneath me…..this car must have been the forbear of the Flintstones’s vehicle, because believe me, you could easily have put your feet on the floor and start it off that way!

Gary was fiddling with the portable radio he had on him…at the same time while driving….no it didn’t have a built in radio/cassette player like the majority of 70’s cars…it wouldn’t have been able to take it…..if it had a radio as well built in there would have been a good chance that a wheel would have fallen off.

He turned the music part of the radio off and started to tune into police reports…..this I considered strange…but not surprising.

We finally got to the town that Gary had picked, as we parked the car wheezed a sign of relief.

The first shop we went into, Gary said he needed some jeans. He took two pairs in a cubicle with him, snipped the tags off and gingerly walked out while wearing them both.

This was before the days of CCTV and big security systems.

He went to a public toilet outside, took them off and shoved them in a carrier bag

In the next shop he genuinely brought some toys for the kids, gave me the money to buy the gifts at the till while he mentioned how nice those pricey watches were situated near the tills.

While I’m giving the person the money for the toys he accidentally dropped one of the watches into a conveniently placed carrier bag as he swapped it with his own wrist watch that didn’t work.

Only one more thing to get, he tells me.

We go into the type of shop that sells everything…possibly even grandmothers (and Gary was the type of person who would have sold his off years ago).

What does Gary want for his pièce de résistance?

A 12 foot long curtain rail….that’s what.

We just walk into the shop, spot the rail that suits his needs, take it out of the wrapping while in the shop, me on one end and him on the other and calmly just walk out of the shop.

I’m expecting to get a hand on my shoulder but nothing happens as we walk towards the super Simca like a couple of unsuccessful cannibals with no dinner dangling down the middle.

We tie the rail onto the top of the grimly green vehicle…how the hell are we going to look inconspicuous now?

I have the radio on my lap while Gary drives the car, both listening out for any mention of a dodgy green car with a bleeding great big rail hanging off it!

Suddenly a police car comes out of a side road, Gary decides to try and do an Italian job in the middle of somewhere in deepest, darkest Hertfordshire as he put his foot down onto the accelerator and nearly puts it through the floor, the engine screams in pain and probably cried a little as it went from 30 to 40 miles per hour in about two minutes….a huge guff of black smoke belching out of the exhaust.

So as we drove off doing our impression of the Wacky Races, the police car calmly went off the other way down the road.

We got home safe and sound, but I made sure never to offer doing that kind of thing again with Gary .

And the car? Unfortunately, the little Simca 1100 didn’t last long after that and it went to the great scrap heap in the sky…it probably couldn’t take any more excitement, and to be honest I don’t blame it.

The lovely Lady Edith

I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch Downton Abbey!

I didn't think it was going to be my kind of thing...after all I never really knew much about "Upstairs Downstairs" when I was younger which was the same kind of setting for the drama. About lords and servants and the things that went on in the Edwardian times.

But there was nothing else to watch, and I was fed up of watching either "Torchwood", "Spartacus", "V" (the new version). "Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles", "Life on Mars", "Ashes to Ashes" or the "Sopranos", all of those are extremely good and I watched all the episodes through the On Demand section of our cable TV...so I took the plunge and decided to watch the first episode of Downton Abbey and see how it went...if I didn't like it then I didn't have to watch the rest of it did I?

But it hooked me from the beginning and now I can't get enough of it, there are plots (obviously!) but also there are people that you can dislike and even some humourous moments....Maggie Smith is brilliant as the old dowager....moaning about electricity and telephones being installed...the old girl is being dragged protesting and screaming into the 20th century!!

I'm pretty sure that "Upstairs" back in the 70's didn't have much humour!

Though I could be wrong.

But there is a certain actress in the drama that has taken my eye...and no it's not Maggie Smith!

Laura Carmichael plays Lady Edith Crawley, the second of three daughters to the Lord. Needless to say that as the middle daughter she's the one who has the less attention paid to by anyone...the eldest daughter always has potential suitors hanging around, the youngest the most spoilt (as are most youngest of the family - I speak from experience!!) so Edith is a little bitter at the other two to say the least.

She feels that she is going to be left behind in the marriage stakes as the youngest eloped with the chauffer and as mentioned above, the eldest has others after her and looks to be getting married to her cousin....but I'm sure that the plot will change again in the third series.

But my heart goes out to poor Edith, although she can be catty, bitter and bitchy, you can tell that she just wants to be loved and get married, when she tries to chat up a fella at the house when visitors come around, they tend to ignore her or just make their excuses and walk away.

I wouldn't do that I can tell you!!

If I was a Lord or some other titled fella then she'd be the one I'd want to talk to and spend time with...sod the others!!

When she gets let down I could just go through the TV screen and take her in my arms and tell her everything will be ok!!

She had a bit of a fling with a local farmer in the second series...I was saying, "Yeah!! You go girl!!", as well as feeling a little tinsy bit jealous too! 

But then the farmer's wife found out and that was that....

Hopefully though the third series will see Edith get a bit of luck for a change...she deserves it.....I think it's real!!

Laura Carmichael seems to have a good future as an actress, she recently appeared in the film "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" as Sal, which I have yet to see, but if she's in it then I'm sure that she gave a great performance.

The dead tramp and cow poo

A couple of friends and myself, at the age of about 14 went on a jolly jaunt off to a nearby town to have a look around, being bored stiff of the town we live in. And, being the type of boys we were, we soon found ourselves a treasure trove of a shop…in other words, a junk shop!

It sold everything, trumpets, old world war two German trench coats (which smelt as if the German had probably died in it as well), ukuleles (yes I did get one…all I could play on it though was the opening riff to the Rolling Stones’s Satisfaction….it sounded like George Formby getting funky with it) and loads of other stuff that nobody needed, or wanted.

George Formby getting funky with it

Except us, of course.

It soon came to our attention that they sold knives (which actually wasn’t quite illegal in those far off days), including great big machetes, catapults and air pistols and air rifles.

We were big boys for our age.

We came out with three air pistols.

Now we just needed something to shoot at.

We found a couple of tin cans which seemed good to start with, so we found a bit of space and started to shoot at the cans, cheering when we hit them and good naturedly abusing each other when we missed.

This continued for about 10 minutes when someone took a shot and we heard a loud "Uuuuurggghhh" coming from the bench where we were shooting the cans.

It wasn’t until then that we noticed an old tramp lying there, he must have been sleeping there and we never noticed.

One of us had hit him…well….maybe all of us had hit him, but this was the first time we heard any such Urrggh from him.

"You shake him, see if he’s alright", said one of us.

"No way, you do it"

I prodded him…he didn’t move.

"You’ve killed him", said one of us

"No, it was you", replied the others.

We decided in no uncertain terms to leg it.

We took the train back home and promptly forgot all about the dead tramp.

And once again, with all thoughts removed, as boys tend to do, we found some more cans and promptly set about shooting the hell out of them.

So there we were, all having a jolly good time and harming no one (this time) when a police car crept around the corner and stopped.

We all as one, stopped what we were doing and gawped in amazement as the coppers both got out of the car and started to walk towards us.

Well we all think the same thing at once.

The dead tramp!

So we’re off and running and the rozzers are behind us and catching up.

We jump over a fence into a cow field to try to escape the clutches of the law.

Everything seemed to be going well. Two of us are ahead and hiding behind a tree, when Mick decides to make a break for it, the policemen immediately give chase when the clumsy git slips on one recently deposited cowpat and falls straight head first into another.

One of the policemen gingerly pick him up and as I burst out laughing at his misfortune the other copper nabs me while the youngest of the three of us bursts into tears.

The copper who I assumed was the driver takes one look at Mick, says simply one literal word, "Shit", and lets us off with a warning.

Oh and the dead tramp?

He was just drunk, the reason the cops were called in the first place to us was that some old nosey biddy didn’t like the look of us having so much fun and enjoying ourselves.

Berkhamsted FC Photos - Mostly not taken by me



I admit I have been a little bit naughty and have nicked various photos of Berkhamsted games via the internet, my camera is better as a video rather than taking snaps...

Lawrence Bunker



Oxhey Jets Vs Berkhamsted (in white)

Hertford Town Vs Berkhamsted FC (White)

Liam Gallagher (yes..that one!!) in a Berkhamsted shirt

Matt Wardle taking a shot



Aaron Usmani with a diving header Vs Cockfosters



Berko (in white) away at St Albans in the FA Cup 1st Round Qualifier



Brilliant photo of Eddie Farmer in mid-flight

Watford FC legend Luther Blissett in Berkhamsted colours

A Berko celebration



Dennis Wise in Berko colours



Berkhamsted home to MK Wanderers