Day trip to Brighton

Now that the weather is finally improving (depending on when you read this though I guess), I thought that it would be a good time for me to get a taste of some sea air and treat myself to a trip to the seaside.

But where to?

There are two places that are reasonably near enough for me to get to within a sensible travelling distance that I can go to and get back on the same day.

One is Southend, about 60 miles away, the other is Brighton , the slightly more famous of the towns, and the one where I was virtually brought up during every school holiday when I was growing up.

Brighton it was then!!

I trotted off to the local train station…......well driving only causes more stress and why have a stress filled day when you don’t have to? That’s the way I see it.

The train came and went, and for once I was on it! Looking at all the sights of the scenery that passed me by…slightly bypassing the majority of grotty London stations along the way of course. And staring at the people on the platforms as they whizzed by looking miserable as they only had a day at work to look forward to, whereas smug old me had a day at the sea to brighten my day.

The train stopped off for a little while at my old stomping ground Clapham…......oh yes….many’s the time I’ve stood on a platform at Clapham Junction in the freezing cold and been stomping my feet on the platform!

From Clapham the views eventually became more scenic, the grass seemed more greener, trees taller and sheep sillier…........if that’s possible.

Within a couple of hours and I’m off the train and looking down from the top of the town down the busy high street.

Roughly ten minutes later and I’m down by Brighton pier. It’s the only remaining pier now, the only one that has anything on it, the other is still there but was burnt down years ago and now it’s remains standing the sea with it’s legs getting all wet looking all sad and lonely while the other pier gets all the glory.

Brighton pier is one of the few places in the town with anything remotely touristy to do. Other than that there’s the promenade which has café’s and stuff, the promenade was great when I was young. There used to be loads of tramps hanging around the prom and they would dive into the rubbish bins to get food. They used to fascinate me, so I did the same.......……my nan wasn’t happy I can tell you….

I thought it was the thing you had to do when you were there.

When I was young was also the time of the mods and rockers as well, I used to love all the bikes and stuff…......once again….......my nan would drag me away from getting involved.

Well I was only about six at the time!

Of course there’s the Brighton pavilion if you’re into looking at old stuff, I went in there once when little and sat on one of the chairs because I was tired.......…well I didn’t know you weren’t allowed to go under the string barrier….how is a five year old supposed to know something like that?

There’s the lanes too, little shops down little alleyways and along the seafront is a volleyball court….....where muscley men go and show off their bodies.........…not my kind of thing you understand but I hear it’s quite popular…well it would be there wouldn’t it! And I don’t mean with the ladies!

You can sit on the pebbley beach (I’m not paying for a deckchair….........whaddaya think I am? Made of money?!), watch the world go by, throw stones at the seagulls who are trying to nick your chips and watch the men and women walking past holding hands….........usually with people of the same gender.

A little word of advice to people who go to Brighton , especially if you’re straight, don’t go in a pink shirt. Not that my shirt was originally pink, it had just lost some of its butch redness in various amounts of washing. But if you’re on your own and wearing a pink shirt.........…it’s like a beacon!

I’d never been so popular…............unfortunetly.

Another place to go is the Marina , not only are there boats and the like but also shops and restaurants, bleedin’ pricey too.

You can get a dinky little train ride from the pier to the marina…..well when I say train, it’s more like a tarted up milk float with seated trollies dragged protesting behind…....they’re very popular down on the south coast, not only does Brighton have one but so does Bognor Regis and even Littlehampton!!

Anyway….....I’m digressing….again…......about halfway from the pier to the Marina is a part of beach that you can’t see from the road.

There’s a gargantuan mound of pebbles that are pushed up into a wall to stop anyone having a look seaward. And the reason why?

It’s the infamous Brighton nudist beach. The first of it’s kind in this country…......most probably.

As far as I know it’s still the only nudist in the UK.

I mean, who in their right mind would go around with nothing on in public in this country? It’s not exactly the warmest of countries at the best times.

Well…....I had heard of it for years and had never quite knew whereabouts it was until I did a bit of investigating.

So there it was, I could get off the dodgy train and casually walk to the nudist beach and see what was going on (or off?), a couple of older perves were walking past me in disgust….

I seriously doubt it was because of me, more probably because they couldn’t get a good gawp at the beach!!

One of them even had a long, dirty rain mac and binoculars….talk about being prepared……...did he have tissues too? Don’t think I want to think about that.

But I wasn’t there to have a peep…....I was going to have a go at being a nudy!

It was a nice day so I thought to myself….Why not have a go before I lose the nerve!!

After walking past a couple of times (and feeling a bit of a wannabe perve in front of the other couple of the dirty mac club) I then said to myself, Sod it, I’m going to do this. I’m not going to bottle out of this, if I don’t do it now I never will and I’ll probably regret it for the rest of my days.

Moving faster towards the beach I started to psych myself up more and more and was ready to rip off all my clothes and let it all hang out. I didn’t care….this was something I was going to do…..the faster I walked and the closer I got to the part of the beach I started to undo a couple of buttons on my shirt and undid my belt, my shoes and socks were already off so that no one could accuse me of popping over for a peek, I was going to be one of the few!!

The bare bum brigade!!

I got to the beach and saw a couple of others on there already......…at least I wasn’t alone....…I dropped my trousers….....hold on.....…something didn’t seem right…......everyone else all had their clothes on.

I turned around as I pulled my trousers back up…what a bloody rip off.